Blog Post 7 - It’s supposed to be difficult
Nothing worth having in life will ever come easy.
The outcomes and benefits of training are innumerable. But the hard part is, you have to actually train.
And not just train once, but countless times over an extended period of time to truly realize those benefits.
A good comparison would be bodybuilding. No one on stage got that way overnight. It took years of dedication, grueling training, and internal and external struggles to achieve that body. No one ever walked into a weight room, lifted one time, and got jacked. Just like no one ever walked into a dojo, trained one time, and got their black belt.
Another comparison would be gardening. Planting a seed and watering it once will not produce a lush garden in an afternoon. It’s going to take a lot of time, attention, and learning from your failures. Some of the plants will not make it, others will flourish for a while before they’re eaten by gophers. And the weather will be constantly at odds with your vision.
But to get your desired results, you must endure.
Overcoming those struggles is what produces the most growth. As humans, we are meant to endure hardship. It’s what we are built for. Nothing ever feels as meaningful as successfully conquering an ongoing challenge.
And once that challenge is complete, you are better prepared for the next one.
Love him or hate him, Dr. Andrew Huberman talks about the role of difficulty in our modern, comfortable lives. That linked section is about 4 minutes, but if you have time, the entire podcast is 3 hours long.
In sum, doing hard things better prepares you to do other things that are hard. We adapt, we become more resilient, and then we welcome future challenges.
Training martial arts gives us an endless supply of challenge, giving us opportunities to develop grit and resilience while learning invaluable skills. The longer you train, naturally you are more likely to face difficulties.
It’s not a bug but a feature.
This is something I impress upon my youth students. Just about every day I hear a kid say “this is hard!” and I immediately respond with “yes, it’s supposed to be!”
Support from parents is paramount in ensuring kids eventually find success in martial arts. If a kid tells their parents “I don’t want to do this anymore,” it’s more than likely the case that the kid perceives training as too difficult. Some kids are just dogs and love the grind for what it is, but not every kid is built that way.
In my opinion, the parent has a responsibility to talk with their kid and explain to them how important it is for them to persevere and continue training. This is a tricky subject for many parents because they don’t want to “force” their kid to train, which is understandable. But many of the parents that say this don’t actually train themselves and therefore have zero reference for what training can provide for their child.
Training is full of intangibles. I never knew what confidence was before combat sports and I attribute my work ethic to my training background. Now if a kid can get that somewhere else (e.g. another sport or activity), then that’s great. But I’m not convinced that those other activities could ever provide what martial arts training can (obviously I’m biased).
And just a last note on kids quitting: the kid that quits today is the same adult years later that gripes “ah I wish I started when I was younger!”
I’ve had so many setbacks in my journey it’s hard to remember them all. Injuries, mental blocks, unfair comparisons to others, or life throwing curveballs at inopportune times. I’ve made it through those obstacles and came out of each one better for having endured them.
Welcome the challenges as they come. View them as another opportunity for growth. When faced with your next challenge, remember the words of Jocko Willink: “Good.”